CLUSTERDOUCHE!

CLUSTERDOUCHE! is the effort of Messers Garvulous Q. Slumpuddle and Adrian “Looseliver, Vendetta and Prang” Wapcaplet, and is edited by Elvis Alowishious Farhatt Dingeldein. They are a trio of mostly-drunken college buddies that are not nearly as funny as they think they are. The Daily is published every few days or so, depending on what news strikes them as worthy of being lacerated with biting wit, edgy satire, or simply the repeated use of the words “clusterdouche” and/or “clownshoe.”

Clusterdouche! was founded in 1807 as part of the William Randolph “Rosebud” Hearst media empire, if he was in fact living at that time (we have precious little time for, or interest in, “research”). Originally published as a half broadsheet in black “ink” and circulated entirely amongst insane Chinamen working the railheads west of Kansas City, Clusterdouche! grew steadily in popularity while, oddly, declining in circulation. In 1812, Clusterdouche! was the first satirical publication to take an enormous dump on The War Thereof, including the now infamous attack ad “GENERAL RENSSELAER or GENERAL WREN-SLAYER*?” Then some other historical stuff happened and we covered that, too. Snarkily.

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* Trust us: This killed in 1812.

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CLUSTERDOUCHE! is the effort of Messers Garvulous Q. Slumpuddle and Adrian “Looseliver, Vendetta and Prang” Wapcaplet, and is edited by Elvis Alowishious Farhatt Dingeldein. They are a trio of mostly-drunken college buddies that are not nearly as funny as they think they are. The Daily is published every few days or so, depending on what news strikes them as worthy of being lacerated with biting wit, edgy satire, or simply the repeated use of the words “clusterdouche” and/or... (read more)